Elephants in the Room

Question for you: Should I send this to the person who upset me?
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Two weeks ago, I shared something I wrote that mattered to me with someone who mattered to me. The lukewarm response I received hurt - only because the subject matter was sensitive and deeply personal. And the thoughts this someone shared were dismissive, along the lines of, “there are bigger elephants in the room”. Essentially, stop making mountains out of mole hills.

As anyone who works in the realm of mental health can attest to - I don’t work in mental health, but have close friends who do- the last thing you want to do is minimize what someone else cares about. Especially when that something appears to be emotionally charged. Yet, here I found myself facing a response that stung a little.... from a person who I least expected that reaction from. It sucked.

At the end of the day, I don’t need you to validate my story. But.... I also don’t need to keep you around if your words begin to dismantle it. My perspective is valuable. My words- emotions and personal experiences carry weight, as they should. Well, maybe this someone was trying to put my problems into perspective... but, no. No. You have no right to tell me that my problems are small because, in your perspective, others are larger.

I just keep thinking back to a hypothetical example where someone might complain about a life event that upset them... and the person they are speaking to retorts with an irrelevant comment about how there are starving children in third world countries. Yes, sure there are. There are millions suffering. And that really sucks. But THAT fact is irrelevant to THIS conversation. Sure, there are a million elephants in the room, if you get right down to it. But THIS conversation is shedding light on MY elephant. And all we can really do is tackle down one elephant at a time in an ongoing effort to make the world a better place.

Don’t minimize my struggle, and I won’t minimize yours. If it matters to you, it matters. Period.

Dear unnamed person who matters to me... I know you didn’t mean any harm. But I hope you realize what you did, and don’t do it to anyone else in the future.