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What comes up must come down Why? Why must that be the rhythm to it?
I want to keep the momentum going... my life force burning, flowing through me. I want to feel alive... and to stay alive. Why must the “up’s” inevitably lead to the “downs”? I don’t want it that way. But if my life has taught me anything thus far, it doesn’t matter what I want (or what it is that I think I want) life, sometimes, has its own way of going about things.
This week has been strange to me. I’ve been feeling a bit lower than usual... (maybe it’s because I’ve been on a high for so long?) I’ve been just feeling more stuck than usual... a bit more pressure than usual. Less room to breathe than usual.... So maybe it’s time for me to make more space for myself.
The weekend is quickly approaching. It’s Friday. Which is pretty freaking amazing... Yes, the weather is awfully cold. Yes, that will make it difficult for me to muster up the courage to be more than a lifeless, couch potato this weekend, but I know I need to do it. I need to give myself that important “me“ time this weekend to keep myself feeling alive and well.
Last night, I felt the urge to put together a list of things I want to do in my life. I think I have an idea as to what it is that I want to do... but putting this all in writing now will help me stay on track. Upon putting this list together, I was pleasantly surprised to discover that a few of the items on this list were things already in progress/things I have already achieved. Somehow, someway, despite the occasional feeling that I am stuck or unsuccessful, I realized I’ve made some great strides toward my long-term goals. It feels good... Let me give myself a pat on the back. I deserve (and need) the recognition.
And now, with this list in hand... I will spend more time looking at it and strategizing. Making it my to-do list, a bible of sorts, to guide me on my life journey. It’s editable. (It’s also 100% erasable). It’s very accessible, it’s on my phone.... which is nearly always attached to my hip... or glued to my hands. So I can change it... refer back to it at my will. Use it to guide the decisions I make and to keep the ball rolling in moments of self-doubt.
At work, I gravitate towards keeping a to-do list. If I didn’t have one, I’d live in constant fear that I’d forget important things and that these important things will slip through the cracks. It only makes logical sense that I create this “me” list for my life to keep everything feeling in order.
What’s up must come down. Maybe I can’t break out of that rhythm. Maybe it’s only human. But what I can do... is create and nurture my own life list. And use that as a source of truth and direction to inform the decisions I make in my life journey. Maybe, in doing so, the downs will come less frequently, or at least last for shorter spans of time. The momentum will keep me moving forward. And I will feel more consistently fulfilled. We shall see. We shall see... Not everything ends with a period. Not everything needs to end with a period.
For anyone out there who feels stuck in a rut or confused as to what you want and where you’d like to go next in your life, I encourage you to make a life to-do list for yourself. You need not share the details with anyone else. Be honest. Be real. Write without thought and then asses. Where are you in terms of your aspirations? What will it require of you to make progress towards them? Keep in mind these aspirations may change... that’s 110% okay, it’s your list, after all. You’re the executive director. You’re the boss of your own life. You have the privilege of being in charge. Love it and live it up. (And let me know how that goes for you!)
Originally written 2/1/19.
#TOOMUCHCOFFEE The results of too much early morning coffee and fingers typing furiously on an iPhone, this is the fifth part of this series.
Too Much Coffee Part 1
Too Much Coffee Part 2
Too Much Coffee Part 3
Too Much Coffee Part 1
Too Much Coffee Part 2
Too Much Coffee Part 3
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