The Point of No Return

Question for you: What does commitment mean to you? Is this an idea you openly embrace or one that you run away from?
--

The point of no return. There’s no going back. One of my biggest deterrents when making a decision is that I will cross a line that won’t let me cross back. I’ll say or do something to someone that I’ve always really wanted to say or do, but once I say or do it - that’s it. What’s done is done. I must live with the consequences of the decision I made. I can’t rewind back time on what was said or done. The status of my relationship with the person will not ever be able to 100% go back to where it was beforehand. I made a decision, and now I need to live with it and own it.

Beyond social interaction, there are other lines I fear to cross. Any seemingly “major” decision in my life. Taking a job. Leaving a job. Choosing a college major. Moving out. These key moments appear to have a long-term impact on my life. So how do I approach them?

I think many of us choose to not approach difficult decisions at all. We refuse to make a decision. We may dabble in one thing and then the next... but don’t stay anywhere for too long. We stay where we are, rather than risk going someplace new. We stagnate.

As I’ve mentioned before on my blog, I don’t want to stagnate. There are things I want to have and do. And in order to get there, I’ll need to move. I’ll need to take risks. I’ll need to step over the line. Arrive at a point of no return. As frightening as the concept may be to me, I need to commit.

Who wants to think that the decisions we make today may have a long-lasting impact on our lives? Isn’t it more relaxing to imagine that we do not need to commit to anything? That we can float from one place to the next. Freely. Shift from here to there. Without being bound by anything at all....

By Matt Artz

But this is not the reality of things. Sure, we can be spontaneous in our life choices and open to some level of exploration, but there are some things that will lock us in. Think about debt. Once you have it... you really have to figure a way to pay it off. Or think about a romantic relationship. You may choose to break it off.... but that does not mean that all of your feelings will follow suit. Your connection to the other person will stay to some degree... Or think about the power in the words you say (or choose to not say) to someone else. You may or may not express your hatred.... reveal your love.... offer words of advice or comfort. Your mind may change in due time.... but the words you speak or do not speak will have an everlasting impact on the relationship you have with the person in question.

I aim to stay young, wild, and free in my life. (Cue the Wiz Khalifa song, here). But I’m also realizing that certain things will keep me grounded. And that a part of me does want to be grounded. I want some level of consistency. I don’t want you to be flaky with me... or at least if you are flaky... or your actions confuse me in someway, I will expect that and nothing more. I won’t invest too much into you.

If you don’t like me... I’d prefer if you would reject me to my face. Let me know the status of things. Tell me how it is that you feel. I will aspire to be just as honest. I’d like for it to all be out there in the open. Let us set our boundaries today. With the knowledge that things can change... but that not all things will or should change. And the reality is the status of things in the moment, not the potential future. We should not get too far ahead of ourselves.

I am and will be a free bird. But I need to commit to certain things in order to feel full and safe. I need to make choices. We all need to make choices. And understand that these choices define who we are and who others are to us.... Crossing a line we can’t cross back on is a terrifying idea. But it’s something we will need to do if we expect to truly grow beyond where we are at the moment...

By Felipe Lopez