A Year To Be Remembered

Photo by Unsplash

Originally written December 27th, 2020

What got you through 2020?

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According to my Fitbit, I’ve walked an average of 19,542 steps a day in 2020. This translates to over 8 miles a day. I only walk, I don’t run because I hate it. During week days, this means I’m quite literally walking anytime I’m not working. It’s an all-consuming endeavor. But it’s one comforting constant that guided me through an otherwise dark and unwieldy year. We all found our way, and walking was mine.

Sometime during the beginning of quarantine, I realized I had a ton of extra free time on my hands. The couch potato in me urged me to stay at home, play video games all day, and stuff my face with food. But the rational, disciplined - read: workaholic- half of me interrupted with a resounding “no”.  “Do something, Paul. Don’t allow yourself to waste away”. I listened to my rational half. Walking felt like the perfect, healthy solution to eat up time I’d otherwise spend locked up at home, anxious and alone. 

My initial goal- which lasted 7-8 months- was 20k steps a day. Fifty to sixty percent of my steps I’d accumulate pacing through my house.... much to the distaste of my family. The other half of my steps I’d accumulate walking outside. AirPods in ear. Exploring my immediate neighborhood - parks, beaches, street corners, more than I ever had before. 

When the world spirals out of your control, you seize control where you can. Some people stood still, but I chose to walk. I might not know or understand the ‘rona, I might catch it and need to put up a fight. But, at the very least, I could prepare my mind and body for that fight were it to come. And keep myself sane in the mean time. Walking infused my day with purpose. The alternative- doing nothing at all- would only crush my spirits.

It’s been a rough year. It’s no longer appropriate to wish someone happy holidays or happy new year without a huge disclaimer that acknowledges the terrible year we’ve shared. Illness. Deaths. Toxic politics. Social injustice. Chaos in the streets. Economic annihilation. Uncertainty...  The list is endless. For better, but mostly worse, our well-being is no longer something we can take for granted.

This year for me and many of us has been like clinging onto the edge of a cliff for dear life. Riding out a sky scraper tall tsunami wave. Tip toeing through a minefield. Screaming at the bottom of a well waiting for some sort of elusively defined rescue. Vaccine? Stimulus check? Bernie...Biden!?

Across the board, our leaders have stumbled. Without science, we would be lost. But science takes time. And time.... takes a toll in terms of lives, psychological stress, and economic impact. There is no magical, overnight fix. 2020 is a slow burn. 

I knew from the outset that walking 20k steps a day was unsustainable in the long-term. Sometime towards the end of November, I chose to stop. The weather was cold. I was tired. And ready for the next chapter. Now, here I am turning the page on 2020. A page I know humanity as a whole  is eager to turn. While 2020 was a roller coaster of disappointments, I - and if you’re reading this, you - made it through. Give yourself a pat on the back. We deserve it.  

Goodbye, 2020.

I miss the morning train rides when I’d write before work. I miss passing through and being apart of the “city that never sleeps”. I miss my Friday morning, “work from home, but really at Panera Breads” breakfasts. I miss the people I’ve fallen out of touch with. I miss the unlimited fruit water I consumed and the coworkers I sat with at our old office space. I miss feeling it’s okay to feel “okay”. I miss weekend adventures where I’d travel and find new places to hike. I miss being able to see, plan for, and discuss my future. 

I’m tired of walking. I’m tired of 2020. I’m tired of simply surviving the present. I am grateful for a year that could have been worse for me personally, but I’m oh so eager for a new year full of so much better. The world has and will continue to adapt! Better times ahead for us all!

Goodbye, 2020. Welcome, 2021!