When I Look Into Your Eyes

Photo by Alexandru Zdrobău on Unsplash

Question for myself: Is this fact or fiction? Both?
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When I look into your eyes, I see. (I don’t always want to see). But I see a million possibilities. Going up and down, in a million different directions. And I can’t help but feel a little lost. But also so determined to find a path... and figure out how/where/if I fit in.

I wonder what it is that you see when you look into my eyes? And if you want to see more or less? I do my best to hide. But sometimes, I know, my realness just leaks out. All over the place. And I’m left on my hands and knees cleaning up the mess I’ve made. I’m sorry that you have to find me in this sorry state. But I can’t help it.

When it comes to you and everyone else, I’m trying my best to jump to conclusions less, moderate my thoughts, and live more in the “now”. But there’s so many enticing possibilities surrounding us, what we could be.... And I’m far too eager to escape the present, jump 10 steps ahead of myself into the future, and be whisked away by my wildest, most unrealistic fantasies. I rejoice over battles not yet won, apart of wars not even yet begun. I’m exhilarated. But also on the verge of a panic attack. There’s a lot at stake here. All too much for me to handle today. I need to snap back to reality.

Here I stand today. Grounded. On my own two feet. Glancing out towards the horizon. I see you in the distance and spot something intriguing in your eyes. I can’t quite put my finger on it. But it’s worth investigating, so that is where I’m headed. One step at a time. We shall see where things end up.