There’s A Woman Singing To Herself...

Photo by Jose Aragones on Unsplash

Question for you: Do you sing to yourself in public? Do you ever want to?
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There’s a woman singing to herself nearby me on the train. This isn’t a NYC subway car known for all sorts of bizarre shenanigans. No, this is the LIRR at 7:30am in the morning.

Well, to each their own. Props to her, I guess.

It’s strange. But amusing. I wish I could hear the lyrics, but I can’t make them out. Her words are soft... not inaudible, but muffled. And now, it’s stopped... well, there it is. It’s started up again. Did I hear something about a "shadow"? Is this some sort of contemporary Christian hymn?

I’d like to go over to her seat and ask her to sing louder. Not because I’m particularly fond of her singing at this hour, but because I’m curious in regards to the lyrics and also why she feels them appropriate to be sung at this very moment. I have yet to encounter this on the LIRR. Is this her first time riding it? Is she unaware of basic, early morning etiquette? Is she even aware that she is singing aloud?

Her singing has stopped...again. This time, I don’t think she will return to singing as the train is getting a bit more crowded. I’d think she’d be more self-conscious about her behavior. Maybe that was the key point before - maybe she did not realize I was sitting nearby and would hear her singing... the car was otherwise vacant at the time. Regardless, a part of me envies her.

Earlier this morning, I was belting out Rebecca Black’s Friday at my house. But as soon as I left my house, I chose to keep the song to myself. As much as it is "Friday" and I am, in fact, "looking forward to the weekend", I didn’t think the rest of the world, just waking up, would appreciate my god awful singing or the song’s obnoxious lyrics. So, on my walk to the train station, I let the song loop through my head until it died out. I kept myself quiet and contained. Never could I feel comfortable singing aloud and alone in an otherwise dead silent train car. But should that be a goal of mine? To feel free enough to do something as self-serving and radical as that?

On one hand, it’s important that we are true to ourselves. But, on the other hand, it can be just as important that we are mindful of those around us and the potential impact we are having on them. It’s a balancing act. Some people need to be told to take it down a notch, to tame themselves a bit more - I’m looking at you, singing woman - while others, like myself, can and should relax a bit more. I’m NOT going to ever start singing aloud on the train. But there are other, smaller and less intrusive, ways I can and should live a freer life.

To the woman singing on the train, I say this: you inspire me, but please shut up.

Originally written 4/12/19