Finding The "Right" Words

Question for you: For those of you that know me... do you ever sense hesitation when we talk?

--

Sometimes, I do a really great job of saying a lot, but actually saying nothing at all. I’ll use words to mask or distort things, rather than to reveal things. I’ll dance around the truth in an effort to avoid exposing it. Maybe it’s because I don’t want to confront the truth myself. Or maybe it’s because I just don’t want you to hear it. But if you read between the lines and know me well enough, you’ll see right through the evasion. You’ll know there’s more. You’ll know that something’s up... Maybe if you push, I’ll let you in. Just maybe...

There’s something so unique, special, and personal about words and how we chose to use them to share bits and pieces of ourselves with others. As much as my words are for me, they’re also something for you. My words connect me to you. They’re building blocks that can build bridges... but can also build walls.

Choosing the “right” words can be intimidating... I spend way more of my time than I’d like to admit sorting through the best way that I should say things. Maybe I’m at work crafting together an email to my supervisor... I want it to be organized and to the point. As concise as possible. Or maybe I’m at home deciding the best way to text back a distressed friend in need, and I want to come off as empathetic and understanding as possible, but not too preachy. Whatever the occasion may be, it’s easy for me to get caught up in over analyzing and overthinking what it is that I “should say”. I almost always know very much know what it is that I want to say. But I’m not always sure the best way for me to go about saying it. Which details I should include... which details I should withhold. When I should be direct... and when I should be more discrete. There’s a great deal of strategy involved. It’s rarely a simple deal of me speaking my mind. It’s all a game...

Communication is complicated. We’re all different. And different people just need to hear different things in different ways. My story as I know it - my truth - will not change. But the way I tell it will need to adapt depending on who it is that I am talking to, the occasion, and what it is that I hope to accomplish. It’s not about deception. It’s just about presentation. At the end of the day, I know who I am (or I am trying to know who I am) and I know what I want. The question is just: what’s the best way for me to communicate this to you? Which details are relevant? How can I sculpt the words that I say to you to be more efficient and arrive at the most desirable end result? I’m still figuring this all out. If you sense hesitation when we’re talking, now you know why.