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| Photo by Effy Gray |
EXCERPT from Rina Casero Espiritu's WEBSITE:
"While experiencing emotional paralysis sometimes manifesting in staying in bed for the whole day and the day after, it would be rebellious to start dancing.
As a college student, I was failing. I felt trapped and truly believed that I would be trapped forever. For a very long time my hidden truth was that I was going to fail at life (we are used to calling this depression). There was no way around that thought. When I decided to pursue the arts through movement, against everything I ought to do, I thought I was going crazy. I was convinced it was the only option available at the time that propelled me to leave the bed. I grieved not joining the conventional workforce, the path towards financial independence and illusion of security..."
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Who is Rina Casero Espiritu?
Rina is a creator. An interdisciplinary artist that I've had the pleasure of working beside and with in the Dance program at Hunter College. In part one, I delved into my experience with Rina and who she is to me. Now, let's take a more intimate look into Rina's mind, who she is in her own words and in the things she creates... If what you read and see entices you to learn more about Rina, I encourage you to visit her website.
"While experiencing emotional paralysis sometimes manifesting in staying in bed for the whole day and the day after, it would be rebellious to start dancing.
As a college student, I was failing. I felt trapped and truly believed that I would be trapped forever. For a very long time my hidden truth was that I was going to fail at life (we are used to calling this depression). There was no way around that thought. When I decided to pursue the arts through movement, against everything I ought to do, I thought I was going crazy. I was convinced it was the only option available at the time that propelled me to leave the bed. I grieved not joining the conventional workforce, the path towards financial independence and illusion of security..."
--
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| Photo by Curtis Bryant |
Who is Rina Casero Espiritu?
Rina is a creator. An interdisciplinary artist that I've had the pleasure of working beside and with in the Dance program at Hunter College. In part one, I delved into my experience with Rina and who she is to me. Now, let's take a more intimate look into Rina's mind, who she is in her own words and in the things she creates... If what you read and see entices you to learn more about Rina, I encourage you to visit her website.
Paul: Describe yourself using three words.
Rina: Lonely, lazy, cynic
Paul: Are you really lazy if you create so often and so much? Lazy in what sense?
Rina: I’m ambitious. I have more things I want to do, one of them is having better relationships with family. The other is to figure out how to live independently without having to work in how people usually work (capitalism).
Paul: How is the Rina of 5 years ago different than the Rina of now?
Rina: 5 years ago stayed in bed all day crying. Rina now only stays in bed half of the day.
Paul: The new Rina is still crying or only in bed?
Rina: Only alone [in bed].
Paul: What keeps you creating?
Rina: The absurdity of it.
Paul: You consider the idea of creating absurd? What entices you about the absurd that keeps you creating?
Rina: It’s free from the idea of obligation, as if it needs to serve something or someone, it’s fun.
Paul: What different mediums do you use to create?
Rina: My body, materials I find at home, other people's movements/ideas.
Paul: Where do you get most of your inspiration from?
Rina: Loneliness and the state of the world. Sometimes it’s a “fuck you” to certain people.
Paul: For the "Fuck you's" , do you like to keep them low-key (as to who they are directed at) or direct?
Rina: One time, it wasn’t low key. Most of the times, it’s more like a personal joke no one else would get.
Paul: Are there certain reoccurring themes/concepts you continue to grapple with in your creative process?
Rina: Feelings of being trapped, stuck, lonely, feeling like a savage, a depressed animal, trauma, depression, repression, loss of control, trance from ugly behaviors, ancient cynicism, shame, and heartbreak.
Paul: There's a lot of darkness there. Why do you think you gravitate toward exploring the darkness?
Rina: It feels orderly to align with it. Other parts of me deals with a lot of cognitive dissonance.
Paul: How do you feel your art has evolved over time? (Has it?)
Rina: I think this time I’m more aware of the aesthetic I was using.
Paul: How would you describe your aesthetic of now?
Rina: More contextual like place, time, people, history of place and people, positionalities, who’s using who, leveraging what’s considered a disadvantage. I keep these things in mind all the time. I’m a modern cynic about it.
Paul: Do you have any favorite quotes? If so, what are they?
Rina: Ah, so many. Right now, it’s “there’s no other way but to bleed”. I’m not sure if it’s from a specific person.
Paul:What are you "bleeding" for?
Rina: Bleeding for a transformation.
Paul: Any upcoming creative projects that you'd like to tease? (performances, exhibits, etc)
Rina: I’m making a show with Uniska [ Uniska Wahala Kano] as the main act March 18, 2019 which will be part of the Estrogenius Festival at the Kraine Theater.
Paul: What is your relationship to this show? Are you acting similar to a curator or do you have some other role?
Rina: It may be both, but it’s still in the works, so can’t say much
Paul: Where do you hope to be in two years?
Rina: Doing more absurd stuff and possibly not living in Parents House Residency anymore. Hopefully less lonely because I made a fuller idea of self.
Paul: How do you expect to arrive at a fuller sense of self? Are there things you need to do to get there? What are they?
Rina: I went back to therapy today. I want distance from family, so that I can have multiple perspectives of my reality and theirs. I need to be self-sufficient somehow, so I can once and for all be honest with them. It might mean I have to work in the capitalist world. I have to capitulate. I have to work hard and be reliable and not be lazy and have consistent good habits which means getting rid of some ugly behaviors.
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