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Once
upon a time, I was a competition kid dancing my nervous, little heart out and
rehearsing day after day in the dance studio. I loved it. But hated it at the
same time...
Being
a competition kid can be exhilarating. You find a family. Join a team and inherit
a studio that cheers you on. There’s
this beautiful sense of urgency that pushes you to improve as you leave one
dance competition and prepare for the next. And with proper instruction and lots of hard work, you do improve. This I loved.
At
the same time, the competition dance world pushes forward a very specific
aesthetic full of flashy tricks and cookie cutter shapes that doesn't work for
everyone. The competition dance world values, and by an extension of that idea,
reproduces a very specific type of dancer. A dancer with long lines... gorgeous
extensions, flexible hips, and pristine pirouettes. A type of dancer I always
admired, but a type of dancer I wasn't.
I’d do everything in my power to
fit the mold: switch dance teachers and studios, try “harder”, practice more
often at home, but would always fall short. I could never quite nail those
fouetté turns or get my flexibility in tow in order to hit those splits. By the
standards of the competition dance world, I was doomed to be mediocre at best -
always lacking, never enough to win that elusive first place award.
As
you can imagine, I left the competition dance scene feeling discouraged. Maybe
dance just wasn’t for me? I couldn’t see past the competition dance aesthetic.
At the time, I knew little of the larger dance world, historical dance icons,
the concert dance scene, performance art, and mind-body practices. I knew only
of tricks and trendy moves. A battle I was not cut out to win.
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In
my freshman year of college, I stumbled into a dance improvisation class where
I discovered a new segment of the dance world...more attuned to my own values
and what I had to offer. With my love for dance reignited, I found purpose. The
competition dance world left me feeling deficient, but college woke me up to
the artistry within myself and in each and everyone of us. I was not just
capable, but well-equipped to produce honest work I could and should be proud
of. Fouetté turns and splits might forever be out of my reach, but there was so
much more to dancing. So much more to art. So much more to me. Maybe I wasn’t
cut out to be an award-winning competition dancer... but I discovered that there were other
roles I WAS cut out for in the dance world.
To any young competition dancer who may be at a crossroads in their dance life, determining whether or not pursuing dance in college is worth it, I say this: If the competition dance world is working for you, great! If the competition dance world isn't, you may find your footing elsewhere. There’s more than one way to dance, and the competition dance aesthetic is just a small part of a much larger dance (and art) world. Above all else, if you enjoy dancing, keep dancing.
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