I Want To Be Super

Photo by Yogi Purnama on Unsplash

This morning, on my walk to the train station, I stopped by a local gas station and purchased a mysterious plastic bottle labeled Super Coffee. I drank the whole bottle in a matter of 5 minutes. Still not sure what I drank. I only glanced at the ingredients on the back of the container. But I’m happy to announce that I am still alive, lucid and functioning. While slightly disappointed that I don’t feel as “super” as I’d like to feel.

It was not my initial intent to feel “super” when I entered the gas station. I just wanted an early morning pick me up after a long weekend. I needed my caffeine fix. But somehow the words “Super Coffee” sparked within me this new desire to be super. Why strive to be ordinary when the extraordinary is in reach?

As I found out, it was all a marketing ploy. I feel no different than I did before making the purchase and drinking the “super” serum, Not even sure there was enough caffeine in there to wake me up. Needless to say, I will not be purchasing the Super Coffee again.

This is what the Super Coffee looked like.

I wonder if there are other ways for me to feel “super”? What must I do to uplift my existence from the mundane? I want to be a super man. Not THE Superman, Mr. Clark Kent. No, I want to have my own identity. Be my own super hero. Mr. Paul T. Faber. Wow, isn’t he extraordinary, isn’t he SUPER? I want to be a f-ing badass... or at least I want people to see me that way.

Paul... stop. Why are you so concerned with public perception? Do super people really care if others think they are super? Wouldn’t the simple act of caring how “super” others think you are detract from your superness???

I mean... I think of Iron Man... Tony Stark. Certified badass. But also very much an egotistical asshole. He’s certainly “super”. He has saved the lives of many. But without his ego.... I guess he does become more respectable and honorable - more super.

So maybe if I care less about what other think about me, my own superness will shine through. I don’t know. What I do know is that Super Coffee is a scam. False advertising. Overpriced and will certainly not make you any more super than you already are (or aren’t). Stay away.