I Need To Stop Being So Accomodating

How do you go about setting personal boundaries when it comes to other people? How much time do you feel you spend accommodating others?

Sometimes, I get stuck sitting next to someone on the train who takes way more than their rightful share of space. I’d like to push you off of me. Throw a tantrum. Kick, scream, shout, and stomp my feet. But instead, I do the exact opposite.

Invade my space, and I’ll offer you more of it... I want you to be happy, even if that means I’ll be less happy. So I’ll move over. Suck in my stomach. Tense up my muscles. Shrink and cram myself into an even tighter, more uncomfortable spot.

It’s all so absurd.... but it’s just my instinct to please... and prioritize the wants and needs of others above that of my own. Especially when it comes to strangers. Maybe I’m too “nice”. Or maybe I’m just a push over.... who needs to start pushing other people over.

As much as I don’t want to blame myself for having my space stolen, people tend to take what appears to be available. So maybe it’s on me to make my space appear less available. Perhaps, I need to assume a more dominant stance. Roll my shoulders back. Spread my legs wider apart. Keep my eyes looking alive and alert, rather than downcast.

It’s all so hard, because I’m so used to being a sacrificial lamb, but I know I need to start being more like a lion. Fierce. Territorial. More than willing to put up a fight...

I think it’s okay... even commendable that I desire to make other’s happy. But it’s absolutely ridiculous that I’m reckless enough to do so at the expense of my own happiness. So I’m working on shifting my mindset... Putting up more of a fight, accommodating others less, respecting myself more, and by an extension of that, setting boundaries and demanding more respect from others.

To the world I say this: watch out, Paul’s not gonna take your shit anymore! (Or at least he’ll try to do so less...)