Sometimes, I Write

Sometimes, I write to reach a point of clarity, to make sense of my thoughts. Assemble them altogether. Organize them. And arrive at something less negative more easily digestible. I write to understand.

Other times, I write to dream all of my pains away - to press aside all of my most deep-rooted insecurities and pep talk myself into surmounting them. I write to rebel.

But, sometimes, I write simply because I crave nothing. So I write it all out. Cleanse - purge- myself of all thought and emotion, shut off the screaming demons inside my head, and arrive at a peaceful, blank slate. I write to escape.

I imagine an excursion to a land of paradise - palm trees... sweets... fresh air... infinite space. A whimsical place where nothing really happens and no one really cares. A private beach where lazy, thoughtless days are spent sipping piña coladas in a hammock, gazing out into the endless expanse of ocean, and basking in the comfort of eternal sunlight.

I dream of having this space to breathe and not think, of floating up and far away into the distance... far away from all my troubles. Drifting off away into an infinite sky of blue. Claiming everything, but nothing all at once...

Sometimes, I write crazy things and share them on Facebook or my blog. You may scratch your head in confusion. Run away in fear.  That's fine by me. Rest assured, I so appreciate you listening, but I don’t need you to always understand. Sometimes, I write for me and me only. I may blame it on the result of early morning coffee, but my writing is, in fact, me. I write because I need to.  I write so that I can push forward. Keep on keeping on. I write to survive.