I Am The Thunder And The Lightning

Photo by Johannes Plenio on Unsplash

I’m approaching my one year anniversary at my current job. It’s been a whirlwind of a year that transformed drastically midway with new leadership and a new office. In two months time, I’ll be approaching a second one year anniversary. The one year anniversary of my blog. During any anniversary, it’s worth looking back and reflecting on what’s transpired. How far have I come? Where do I hope to be five, ten years from now? Tomorrow?

This is a critical moment to reflect on responsibility and passion. (Merged together at times, but not as often as I’d like.) All apart of this mysterious creature that can only be described as my life. I take the most comfort in knowing that I am happier now than I was a year ago. Life is pretty f-ing great. But I also can’t shake the feeling that the best is yet to come... There’s a storm brewing inside of me. Ready to burst wide open, out, and into the world. Explode in the best way possible. My future is big, loud, and bright. I AM the thunder and the lightning.

What do these words mean? What I am trying to say is that I am 26, but still have high hopes and dreams that I’m working towards making a reality. Once these anniversaries are behind me, I need to make moves. What do I want? Who do I want to be? What’s stopping me from getting there?

Photo by Luke Stackpoole on Unsplash

Paul, you want to be a writer. Be a writer. Keep writing. Find your niche. Go to grad school. Apply. Apply. Apply. Write. Write. Write.

Pause.

Is this what I want?

Yes. I want to be a writer. I know the why. Just not sure about the how or where or to what capacity... I’m making strides to improve my craft. Disciplining myself to write on a consistent basis... even when I don’t have much to write about. But, in order to take my writing to the next level, I know I will need professional guidance. Will I seek this out? (How) will I seek this out?

How can I marry my passion for writing with a job that pays the bills? I’m trying to keep the possibilities in my head as wide open as possible, so as to not glue myself into any specific future that may or may not happen. But I am driven to dig in deeper. Find my footing in this world. And I refuse to be bound in a cage. If dance has taught me anything, it is that I am a mover. I AM a MOVER. Therefore, I WILL MOVE.

Anniversaries remind us of just how much life can change in a year’s time. I imagine that I still have many more years ahead of me. And I can’t wait to experience what’s next.

I am the thunder and the lightning.

Let’s get this party started, and make it rain.